25 May 2018

Mental health update #3

*Trigger warning: descriptions of or extensive discussion on self-harming behaviour*

It’s been awhile since I made another mental health update. I used to see my therapist every two weeks, but now I see her once a month because she told me I was getting better and that I could handle my anxiety and depression better than in the beginning. I went to see her two weeks ago so that’s why I wanted to give you guys another update.

In the beginning, since my update, I’ve been feeling really good. I keep track of my mood and habits in my bullet journal and almost every day I was happy, except a few moments. I didn’t really have any shitty day and now I’ve been getting these shitty days again. I don’t really know why I’m feeling like this again. Is it stress and college? Is it my boyfriend? I don’t know. I think it’s a mix of everything.


I’ve been feeling really stressy lately because exams are approaching, all my teachers are giving me tasks even though I could use my time to study, and even my internship gave me some stress. Don’t get me wrong, I loved my internship, but I always wanted to do everything perfectly because I’m a bit of a perfectionist and I always wanted to look like a good person without anxiety or depression. I wanted to be my better self and it could give me some stress because I always wanted to be perfect and I kept on this mask of being perfect for 2 weeks. It may sound stupid because it’s just an internship, but I always want people to think that I’m a good person without any problems (even though I have a lot of them). Same with college, I don’t want people to see me as someone who is fighting battles every day. I want them to see that I’m happy and in love, even though I can be depressed and barely want to get out of the house.

Same goes for my boyfriend. I barely see him once a week and I don’t want to ruin my time with him by talking about my problems and by crying non-stop. And it’s kind of a bad thing to do. Not talking about my problems isn’t getting me anywhere and my boyfriend is going to think that everything’s fine even though it’s not. He knows about my anxiety and depression, and he tries to understand everything but he doesn’t know everything yet. I don’t want to overwhelm him with all my feelings, and I don’t want him to feel like his love isn’t enough for me. I love him to the moon and back, but even the happiest people can feel depressed.

Besides stress and my boyfriend, I’ve been struggling with my self-harm again. I know, I’m so stupid, but sometimes it feels like the only solution. Sometimes it’s just easier to give in than to fight it, but I’ll keep on trying to fight it.

I’ve also been feeling like I don’t want to see my therapist any more even though I really like talking to her. Sometimes I just don’t know what to say to her or I don’t know what she can do to make me feel better. But when I did visit her two weeks ago, I was glad I did. I really needed to talk to her. While I was talking to her, I was non-stop crying. Everything is sometimes just too much for me, and I had to get everything out. And she told me that it was okay to feel like this and that it was okay to cry like this. She even told me that she thinks I am really strong because I could’ve gone to a mental hospital or I could’ve committed suicide, but I did not. I’m still fighting this depression and I’m still trying to think positively, and that makes me a strong person. When she told me all these things, I felt so much better. I’m really grateful to have such a good therapist!

It doesn’t matter that you need to cry or that you don’t cry at all. It doesn’t matter that you go to a therapist or not. But don’t be afraid to talk about it! We can fight this together!

23 May 2018

Top 5 favourite make-up products

I’ve been using these make-up products in my everyday make-up routine so I decided to make a blog post about them. The following products are my favourite products and I highly recommend them!

Top 5 favourite make-up products

1. Nyx HD Photogenetic Concealer Wand in 00 Alabaster
Yes I know, I use the lightest shade in the range because I’m a pale ass b*tch. I love this concealer because it has such an amazing coverage and it’s perfect for my skin. The shade range contains 23 shades, including a green, yellow and purple concealer. I love wearing this concealer without a foundation because it has a beautiful coverage and just doesn’t really need a foundation.

2. ColourPop Ultra Matte Lip in Times Square
I really love the formula and colour of the ColourPop Ultra Matte Lip in Times Square. This lipstick dries down completely and doesn’t transfer. The shade, Times Square, is really pretty because it’s a muted pink/beige colour. This is one of my favourite lipsticks because it stays put for such a long time!

3. Catrice Glam & Doll False Lashes Mascara Waterproof
I’ve been trying a lot of waterproof mascaras for the last couple of years and this one is definitely one of my favourite mascaras that I’ve ever used. It gives me so much length and volume, and it gives me even more length and volume when I use Catrice Glam & Doll Volumizing Mascara Primer!

Top 5 favourite make-up products

4. Sleek Highlighter Palette in Solstice

I bought the Sleek Highlighter Palette in Solstice a few years ago and since then I couldn’t not use it. I’ve been in love with this palette for such a long time because it’s just so blinding and beautiful. On ‘normal’ days, I use the light-golden and bronze shade and on ‘grungier’ days I use the purple. The pigmentation of this palette is 100% and it’s just so beautiful! And yes, as you can see I use the light-golden shade a lot and I even broke my palette, oops!

5. Ofra Long Lasting Liquid Lipstick in Pasadena

I know I should apologise because this is yet another lipstick, but I just had to put this amazing lipstick in this top 5. The formula of this lipstick is really smooth and the colour is just the perfect pink nude. It’s almost my own lip colour but just a tad more pink and that’s what I really love about this lipstick. This lipstick has a matt finish but it doesn’t really dry down completely.

Let me know what your favourite products are and if you’ve tried any of these products!

21 May 2018

The Day Is Ready for You | Review

Title: The Day Is Ready for You
Author: Alison Malee
Pages: 144 pages
Version: Ebook (ARC)
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
Rating: ★★★

Review

This book was provided by the publisher through Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. Thank you Andrews McMeel Publishing and Netgalley!

The Day Is Ready for You is a prose and poetry collection about life, heartbreak and breathing freely.

I liked The Day Is Ready for You because some of the poems and prose were really beautiful. It’s not my favourite poetry and prose collection because I couldn’t connect to all the poems. I really liked that there were romantic poems and feminist poems, those were definitely the best poems in this collection.

learn

the garden is all stars tonight
and each one is named
after a woman who walked away.

i hope i learn from them.

My favourite poems:
  • never
  • obvious
  • unwanted
  • nerves
  • insistent
  • learn
  • pressure
  • morning
  • above all
  • told you
  • keeping
  • but it is worth it

18 May 2018

Until You Say I Do | Release Day Blitz

Title: Until You Say I Do
Series: Until You #3
Author: D.M. Davis
Genre: Contemporary/New Adult Romance
Release date: 18 May 2018

The Until You Series continues with Until You Say I Do.
"The first time I saw her, I knew she would be mine. Clich├ęd?  Yes, but that doesn’t make it any less true." Joseph
Trust is hard earned, and easily broken even for those who believe they have triumphed and now lie on the winning side of love.
Having won Samantha’s heart and trust, Joseph is determined to conquer his next challenge of making her his wife and priming her for a career at MCI. But, an old nemesis threatens the woman he loves, shaking her to her foundation and jeopardizing their very happiness.
Can Samantha see beyond the evidence and believe in the man she loves?
Will Joseph be able to prove his innocence before it's too late to say "I Do"?
Until You Say I Do is Book Three in Joseph and Samantha’s story, which began with Until You Set Me Free.
Intended for mature audiences.
Note to Reader: 
You do not have to read Until You Books 1 & 2, but it would be best if you have as not all details are rehashed in this book. Plus, you will miss out on getting to know Joseph and Samantha from the beginning of their journey. It's not to be missed.


Purchase links: Amazon US | Amazon UK | Amazon CA  | Amazon AU | Barnes & Nobles | Kobo | iBooks | Books2Read

ALSO AVAILABLE
#1 Until You Set Me Free – 99c for a limited time!
#2 Until You Are Mine
Giveaway

a Rafflecopter giveaway
Review
This book was provided by the author through Give Me Books Promotions in exchange for an honest review. Thank you D.M. Davis and Give Me Book Promotions!
Until You Say I Do is the third and final book in the Until You series. Samantha and Joseph have decided to marry each other but it’s not as easy as they hoped it would be…
Until You Say I Do was again the perfect sequel to the series and was such an amazing book. I couldn’t stop reading this book, just like I had with Until You Set Me Free and Until You Are Mine.
Until You Say I Do was just the book I needed to end this series. It wasn’t only steamy but also so hard to put down because a lot of things were happening. I was so curious to know who did what and why, but I had always fate in Samantha and Joseph! They are definitely the perfect book couple!
I’m glad that I stumbled upon this series because I loved it and I devoured it. The Until You series is definitely one of the best New Adult/Romance series I’ve read so far, and I’m so happy that D.M. Davis is writing a book about two other characters from the Until You series!

About the author
D.M. Davis
 is a Contemporary and New Adult Romance Author.
She is a Texas native, wife, and mother. Her background is Project Management, technical writing, and application development. D.M. has been a lifelong reader, and wrote poetry in her early life, but has found her true passion in writing about love and the intricate relationships between men and women.

She writes of broken hearts and second chances, of dreamers looking for more than they have and daring to reach for it.

D.M. believes it is never too late to make a change in your own life, to become the person you always wanted to be, but were afraid you were not worth the effort. You are worth it. Take a chance on you. You never know what’s possible if you don’t try. Believe in yourself as you believe in others, and see what life has to offer.

She is currently working on two series of romance novels: Until You and Finding Grace.